Ten Ways To Tell If Someone Is Lying To You
In business, politics and romance, it would be nice to know when we’re being lied to. Unfortunately humans aren’t very good at detecting lies. Our natural tendency is to trust others, and for day-to-day, low-stakes interactions, that makes sense. We save time and energy by taking statements like “I saw that movie†or “I like your haircut†at face value.
- Watch Body Language | Look for physical clues, especially sweating and fidgeting.
- Seek Detail | Push your subject for particulars. The more minutiae a liar has to provide, the more likely he is to slip up.
- Beware Unpleasantness | “Liars also make more negative statements and complaints than truth-tellers do, and they appear somewhat less friendly and pleasant,” psychologists Bella M. DePaulo and Wendy L. Morris.
- Observe Eye Contact | A subject’s failure to make eye contact is often sign of deceit.
- Signs of Stress | Look for dilated pupils and a rise in vocal pitch; both phenomena were more common in liars than truth-tellers.
- Listen for the Pause | Forced to make up a story on the spot, most speakers will take a beat or two to collect their thoughts.
- Ask Again | Ask suspects to repeat their stories, and listen for inconsistencies to ferret out lies.
- Beware Those Who Protest Too Much | Someone who consciously is trying to make you think he’s honest–for instance, by injecting the phrase “to be honest”–may be lying. Most people assume they will be trusted most of the time. If someone expects otherwise, take a moment to ask yourself why.
- Know Thyself | One reason liars succeed is that listeners don’t really want to know the truth, says psychologist Feldman. So be honest with yourself about what it is you want to hear.
- Work on Your Intuition | “Good human lie detectors, if there are such persons, are likely to be good intuitive psychologists. They would figure out how a person might think or feel if lying in a particular situation, compared to telling the truth, then look for behavioral indications of those thoughts or feelings,” write psychologists De Paulo and Morris.
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